I’ve really been wrestling with a blog for this week. Over the past few months, I have joined four different Facebook awareness groups in an effort to have our message reach more people. There are over 135,000 within just those four groups, and one of the most difficult realities of being a member is seeing all of the new names and faces that become members every week. Not the ones that have been wrestling with suicide in some form or another for months or years, but for the

Let me first tell you that I have found the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention to be one of the most active sources for guidance and help in almost every form both in prevention awareness and in post suicide recovery. They have 74 Chapters across the United States and are located in all 50 states. The easiest way to find your local chapter is through their website at afsp.org . They provide education and community programs, support for survivors of suicide loss, and

PTSD has been the precursor for many suicides, and vice versa. But it doesn’t have to be. PTSD frequently drives people to isolate themselves, creating distance from friends, family, and the world that feels “normal.” Trauma introduced into someone’s life in any form can create the beginning of PTSD. Recognizing it and getting professional help sooner than later is the key to being able to live a fairly normal life. In my case, PTSD was not recognized until decades after the

What a way to spend the last years of my life. I have been facing retirement for at least the last five years, and I am the kind of person that really needs to make a difference in the work that I do. I have dreaded the aspect of not having a meaningful purpose to get up each day.                                                                                                                                                                       Releasing my recent book for pub

I was recently asked, what’s it like writing a book? And why did I write this book?  Both answers are a little elusive to me, but I’ll start with the second question and I’m hoping that will lead me to both answers.   Why Did I Write This Book? This particular book did not start off as a planned project. It was started in silent moments when I was lost in depression. I think it may have even been started in its first rough form as the beginning of a suicide note, as an explan

Last year over 49,000 people died in the United States from suicide, that’s more than 134 per day. 55% of those were done with firearms....

Apprehensive is the first word that comes to mind. I seem normal on the outside. Yet, inside, I’m always on the lookout, ready for what’s next. My mind races with multiple thoughts at once. I get easily distracted, often leaving tasks unfinished until the next day. The Racing Mind Visible signs of depression are not there every day, even though they are there more days than not. Usually just in the form of brief tears for no reason. The unseen depression is there every day. T

Wow what a journey this has been. I truly can’t even remember when I started writing that book, it was at least a couple of decades ago. Probably 25–30 years ago. The things we did back then, I was probably a few years deep into it before my wife and I flew back to California to visit the old house and get the coroner’s information. We were just trying to remember what year we did that, and she found an old receipt from the coroner’s office for $0.75 dated March 3, 2004. It w

Anytime something good or bad happens in my household, my wife always says, “Everything happens for a reason.” Time and again, she’s been right. I met this amazing woman in Apache Junction, Arizona, just after winning my last game of pool. I was headed out the door of a small country bar when she and a friend walked in. I held the door for them, then turned around and followed them back inside. For the past 45 years, I’ve teased her when telling this story, always adding tha

This Is the Season The past month and the next few weeks are always the hardest time of the year for me. After all, it has only been 57 years since the suicide. Yes, I now have another avenue of escape, I can sit down and write about it now. Yes, I’m definitely coming out in the open more. Since deciding to publish the book I’ve started using the term that “I’m an open book”. But this has been a long journey. Decades of Silence So many years this story has been hidden. Decad